A few months ago, I got an email that set in motion an experience that would teach me a powerful lesson about overcoming my fears. It was an invitation to attend a press trip to experience and review Chicabrava, an all-women’s learn-to-surf camp in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. I read the email with both the usual excitement I feel when learning about a new opportunity to travel as well as slight apprehension about what I would actually be doing on the trip: Learning to surf.
I consider myself an adventurous person who has traveled to over 40 countries, many of these trips solo, and has pushed my body and soul to the limit by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, trekking the Himalayas, tandem hang-gliding in New Zealand, and diving in the Great Barrier Reef. But surfing? Now that is something I had never tried and quite honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
What I would come to learn about this entire experience was that traveling alone to Nicaragua and actually getting up on my surfboard to catch a wave was no problem at all. The real challenge I had to overcome was my immense fear and anxiety over the ocean. It terrified me.
Before I went to Nicaragua I had constant nightmares about being surrounded by sharks, smashed by the waves, and trapped under the water left to drown. I know I was being ridiculous but my anxiety over the ocean was real and powerful.
What was most shocking is that I grew up swimming. We had a pool at our home in Minnesota where I swam like a fish, day and night all summer long. I was even on a competitive swim team for five years, and I have snorkeled and scuba-dived in calm reef water into my adulthood. Yet, the thought of ever going into the waves held me back. I didn’t dare enter rough water for over 25 years since a frightening incident in Mexico.
When I was 18 years old on vacation in Cancun, a group of us decided to take a ride on a banana boat. The ride was exhilarating as we rode the waves, bouncing up and down on our yellow inflated raft, screaming at the top of our lungs. However, when it was time to get off an enormous wave came upon us and threw us into the ocean. All I remember is being smashed at full force by water and then tumbling over and over again, backward under the water. Although the terrifying episode probably only lasted a minute, it felt like an eternity. I thought I was going to drown. I emerged in tears, coughing out salt water, and swore I would never get back in the ocean waves again.
I kept my promise for decades until I received the email inviting me to attend Chicabrava, the first and best all-surf retreat for women in Nicaragua. I had never even thought of learning to surf and putting my fear of the ocean aside, I decided it would be another new adventure and challenge for me to pursue. Little did I realize, this experience would be incredibly empowering and teach me an important lesson on overcoming my fear of the ocean.
Ashley Blaylock, a Houston native who had learned to surf at 19 and fell in love with Nicaragua as a young law student, founded Chicabrava in 2008. After completing her law degree, Ashley took a leap of faith and moved to Nicaragua where she began working in real estate and spent her free time surfing. Despite her success, she yearned for something more fulfilling that would combine her passion for surfing with empowering women. As one of the only female surfers in Nicaragua, Ashley dreamed of opening up her own surf camp that would offer unforgettable, life-changing vacation experiences for women from all over the world. Yet, the thought of opening her own business and how she would do it held her back. The death of her beloved Grandmother taught her that life is too short not to go for it, so she set aside her fears and started Chicabrava, the first all-women’s surf camp in Nicaragua. Almost a decade later, Chicabrava is growing strong with a full-time staff, weekly surf camps, and regular programs supporting the local community to help empower Nicaraguan girls through surfing. Ashley’s dream materialized.
Women come to Chicabrava for many different reasons but the most common thread is that women are looking for a way to be empowered. Besides learning or improving their ability to surf, many women come to Chicabrava after experiencing a difficult life event such as the loss of a loved one or job or getting back on their feet after a terrible divorce. Some come together with their girlfriends while others like myself simply come alone. If they are searching for challenge and empowerment, they have found the place. The mission of the camp is “empowering women one wave at a time” and this is accomplished by inspiring personal change and empowerment through surfing. I can attest that it is truly a life-changing experience.
Catching my first wave
I stood on the beach frozen with fear. I was petrified of entering the ocean. The water looked rough and scary from where I stood. I also knew that there were jellyfish and stingrays around which was another thing that scared me. My chest felt heavy with anxiety and dread. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to go in. I wondered why on earth I was even there. What was I thinking?
The amazingly patient Sarah, my surf instructor, encouraged me gently. She let me take my time and didn’t push me to get in. I swallowed my fear, grabbed my board, Snow White, and slowly walked out into the water, swishing my feet like they had told me to do, to scare away stingrays. I was so afraid of being stung that I didn’t notice the first wave coming my way. “Dive!” Sarah yelled. But it was too late. The wave struck me with a powerful force, toppling me into the water and throwing Snow White into the air. “Cover your head’!” I heard Sarah holler. Thankfully the board didn’t hit me but I got my first mouthful of salt water.
A little shaken, I hesitated again despite Sarah’s calls to move deeper into the water. I looked around me and saw that the other women were already on their boards and felt silly that I was the only one way behind, pummeled by fear. My competitive nature took hold of me, and I jumped on my board and paddled out deeper.
The first thing I had to learn was how to do a “turtle roll” under an approaching wave. It terrified me but after being struck again by another powerful wave, I gave it a try. As the wave approached, I grabbed the rails of my board and flipped over letting the wave crash above my board. I panicked under the water and popped up to another round of saltwater up my nose and down my mouth. This surfing thing wasn’t going too well. I realized at that point I had two options. Do another dreaded turtle roll under the wave or surf on top of it. It was time for me to overcome my fear.
I took a deep breathe and paddled out further waiting for the right wave to come. I had practiced my “pop-ups” several times on the sandy beach but hadn’t attempted it in the water. I needed the perfect green wave and finally, it came. “Paddle, paddle, paddle” yelled Sarah as my arms stroked the water. Just as Sarah told me to place my hands beside my chest and pop up into a plank, I felt the powerful rush of the water coming behind me. “Up!” she yelled. My heart raced with adrenalin as I attempted to get up on my first wave. My legs were too straight and I fell head-first into the water. To my surprise, when I surfaced I realized that it wasn’t too bad. I could do it.
Encouraged, I paddled out and tried again and this time I caught a wave. As I popped up onto my board and looked at the shore, I couldn’t believe that I had actually done it. I was riding a wave! It was a phenomenal feeling of joy and exhilaration. I felt like I was on top of the world.
I surfed for another hour that day, stunned by how far I’d come in such a short while. Just hours before I was terrified of even going into the ocean and now I was out there, overcoming my fears and having a blast. I realized that stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something completely new is an empowering feeling and sometimes you need to do that in order to personally grow.
It was an important reminder to me as well that oftentimes in life the only thing holding me back is myself and that I can do anything as long as I set my mind to it.
As the week drew to a close, I felt incredibly grateful for this amazing opportunity. As promised, each and every one of us left Chicabrava feeling thrilled and empowered. We had shared rooms together, stories of our lives, and words of support and encouragement, and developed a wonderful camaraderie with each other and the fantastic staff. Although we started off as strangers, we left as friends each one of us taking home a little piece of Nicaragua in our suitcase and feeling a little bit stronger.
If you go:
Chicabrava offers weekly surf camps year-round in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. You can stay at the surf house in town or the more luxurious Cloud Farm up in the hills. Check out their website for more information at www.chicabrava.com
Disclosure: I was invited to attend and review Chicabrava Surf Camp at no cost except airfare however all the words and opinions expressed in this article are my own.
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Nicole Congratulations. Great read and you must feel very proud. The ocean gives me the heebie geebies more for what is swimming around in it, particularly in Australian waters. Well done. The Chicabrava program sounds great and in such a beautiful setting. I will stick with the terra firma though.
Thanks so much Louise! The biggest fear – sharks – thankfully wasn’t something I had to worry about since they are very rare at the beaches we surfed. But I’m so glad I did it as it was a very empowering experience.
What an amazing and powerful post Nicole. I felt like I was right there with you, riding every wave with you and feeling every ounce of fear. Just goes to show what we can achieve when we step out of our comfort zones and face our fears. Head on. Good on you Nicole, I loved your story.
Thanks Miriam! I wasn’t sure how to go about writing my experience so just decided to talk about what it meant to me personally to overcome my fears. It was so empowering.
And that came through in your writing beautifully Nicole.
Oh thank you Miriam! You are the best! 🙂
I’ve always wanted to try surfing with an actual board. I have body surfed and rafted and boogie boarded and used a SUP, but never the real deal. Maybe I’ll have to try this place with my sister some winter!
Yes Lexi that would be a fantastic trip to do with your sister! What a fun challenge it would be!
What a great experience this must have been ~ the thrill of feeling that first wave of yours, and battling the fear. Not a better recipe for tasting life 🙂 Also, gotta love the “The women of Chicabrava” photograph…perfect, shows in a photo the great time you had.
Thank you so much! It was such an experience for me because usually I’m the one always doing things and for once in my life, I was frozen still. It felt so unusual for me! I am so glad I just did it. It is really hard to do something you don’t feel comfortable with. I’m amazed by how gripped with fear I was. I’m so glad I did it though. Definitely an amazing memory! 🙂
Fabulous, Nicole! I absolutely love that first leaping photo. 🙂 What a leap of faith! My heart was in my mouth for you. So glad you took back a gift that you had all along- an affinity with the ocean. Hugs, darlin’ and happy Sunday!
Thanks Jo! I am so glad you enjoyed the post. It took awhile to write it but was fun to relive how I felt. It was such an experience!
It sounded like it! I’m not much of a swimmer, Nicole, so it’s almost beyond my imagination.
I’m not an ocean swimmer at all Jo! So that was really scary for me. But I did it!
Wonderful post of overcoming one’s fears. Thanks Nicole. Lovely pics as always too!
Thank you so much Denzil! I appreciate your kind words. It is fun to do something out of your comfort zone! reminds me that I should do it more often!
Incredibly inspiring Nicole. Very proud of you. The Chicabrava program sounds amazing. Could sailing be next for you 😀
Thanks Lisa! Yep that is true that I have never done sailing either! Yet another exciting adventure to try!
I really enjoyed reading about your surfing experience in Nicaragua. Your writing is always from a very personal point of view, which helps others think about their own “inner selves.”
Thank you so much Marilyn for the beautiful comment! I thought over and over again about this experience and felt the easiest way to write about it was by telling how I felt. I am so glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
It was so great to meet you at Chicabrava! I am just now getting around to editing my photos and will share soon!
You too Bekka! I can’t believe the trip was only a couple of weeks ago as it seems like months. I would love to see your photos! Please let me know when they are up and out! 🙂
I love this post, because I could really relate to the fear of the waves, having been crushed quite a few times and been reluctant to try surfing for that very reason. Oh and also not feeling too enthusiastic for being hit on the head by a surfboard either. Well done for overcoming your fear and just “going for it”. Good for you. Inspiring!
Thanks Peta! It was such an incredible experience. I still have fear over the ocean but not as much as I did when I arrived. I am amazed how powerful and forceful it is.
You did it Nicole!!! How inspiring and empowering is that? I never knew you had such a fear of the ocean but can relate after having a few bad experiences myself. I love the ocean and would love to try surfing although not sure my back would take it. I’m actually thinking of my next move as I feel I need to live by the ocean again. Just not sure where yet though. I realize finally I’m not a highland girl. Where’s your next trip?
Thanks Lucy! Yeah, my back and neck are not doing great. They haven’t been great for years but the surfing was definitely hard on my already sore neck. Still worth it though. To get on top the board and float across the waves was such a feeling of freedom. So you are feeling itchy for the ocean. Are you going to stay in Central America? Lots of beautiful ocean there! Or else even Ecuador is supposed to be amazing and a great place for expats. 🙂
Yeah, it’s my back I’m worried about. Too many problems over the years. I can imagine that freedom. I feel that on a horse. Not sure where but I doubt Ecuador. Spent 2-3 months there few years ago.I’m spoilt for beaches after Thailand. Don’t know if Lat Am or Asia or maybe Spain? Too many options. Trying to find my perfect spot. Hope the neck gets better.
Ahhh but all your opens are so lovely Lucy! There world is your oyster!
Haha I know Nicole but so difficult to make a decision!