As time goes by, days and weeks seem to ebb and flow together. A mess of so many strong feelings continuously flow like a river through my soul. A resounding sadness and despair seem to be the dominant feelings every morning when I rise. As the day goes on, anger, disbelief, and acceptance mix in while at times a sense of hopelessness prevails. While I try to remain hopeful and positive, each passing day it becomes a bit harder. I have always been a sensitive soul. Then I remember the words of our governor, “It is a marathon, not a sprint”. We are in this for the long haul and as hard as it is I need to buckle up and accept it. I need to stop reading so much of the tragic news of the lives lost and changed forever. Yet it is hard to not keep searching for answers and a way out of this mess. It is hard to feel so out of control. Perhaps more than ever I need to remind myself to practice mindfulness and try my best to live in the present moment without worrying so much about the future that lies ahead. For it is the only way to manage such overwhelming feelings.
We are entering week 6 of our Stay at Home order in my state of Minnesota. We haven’t even reached our predicted peak yet. That is estimated for late June to early July. We are getting restless at home yet at least we are finally getting to enjoy the rebirth of Spring. The trees laden with pollen are about to burst, the birds are singing in full glory each morning and I rejoice in my countless walks around our lovely urban lake that is one of the only things that is not canceled. At least for now. We will see what happens as the weather continues to improve and more and more couped up Minnesotans want to get outside and take advantage of our urban lakes and nice weather. I hope that our beautiful walkways and bike paths are not closed like they have been in other large cities. We are so blessed to have the ability to be outside and in nature unlike so many others around the world in urban cities who are locked inside their homes. There are a few silver linings in this extraordinarily difficult time.
My family continues to be well. My husband still has his job. My kids are hanging in there. We have food on our table, a roof over our head and each other. For that, I am truly grateful. I long to see my extended family and my community of friends. But of course that will have to wait.
As we enter another week of uncertainty, I will share my weekly postcards of inspiration and hope. We need some good news. Wishing you all a healthy, safe week. Please let me know how you are doing whererever you are. I’m thinking of you.
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be”. – Anne Frank
Snapped: Northern Minnesota, Fall 2016