Sunset over Lake Harriet near my home in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
It is 8:15 pm and here I am all alone stuck in an airport hotel. I forgot how lousy these kinds of places can be. But I really didn’t have a choice. The cheapest ticket I could get to Guatemala City from Minneapolis had two options: Option 1 get up ungodly early and spend the night in Guatemala City on my own. Option 2 Sleep in, spend the day with my family and sleep over night in Houston before catching the first flight out the next morning to Guatemala City where I will then board a four hour bus to my next destination. I chose option 2.
Have you ever noticed that the day of your flight is always a wasted day? Since I am always so insanely organized of course I had everything packed the day before (I used to do two days before!), the laundry all done, the house clean, a few meals prepared for the kids and hubby while I’m gone, and extensive instructions typed out and printed for the young lady who will be watching my kids during the day. Everything was done well ahead of time yet the day seemed to lag on and on and I couldn’t get comfortable. I couldn’t relax. This always happens with me before I leave on an international trip and I truthfully can’t stand it.
Was it the annoying worry that something would go wrong while I was away? Was it the motherly guilt inside of me asking why on earth I was selfishly leaving my husband and children to go off to Guatemala? Or was it just plain old nerves?
I think it was obviously a combination of all the above. It didn’t help at ten to one when I told little sweet Sophia that it was time to load my bags into the car and take me to the airport. Her face twisted into full blown bell bottom tears asking me in that little high-pitched five year old voice “But Momma, why do you have to go”? Guilt set in and panic rose through my chest. What was I doing?
Relax. Relax. Breathe. Breathe.
Sensing my nerves Paul came to the rescue and tried to cheer Sophia up. Max was at a birthday party and happy as a clam. Yet still my stomach felt like a rock. This is how it always is for me, a mom, when I leave my family. It feels wrong yet I know it is so important for me and for them to know that I am seeing the world. To understand that there is more to life than our community in Southwest Minneapolis. There is a whole world awaiting and someday they will see it. Someday they will understand.
Yet it still is so hard to leave.
Stay tuned…not sure what kind of internet time I’ll have in Guatemala but I will try to at least post a photo or two while I’m away. Wish me luck! My Spanish is still quite rusty yet I’ve been practicing now for two months and hopefully that will make a difference!